grandpa clarence will be gone soon. his kidney's are failing. he's not eating anymore. maybe another week. 2 tops... there's no words to write that i can think of to remind myself what i'm feeling right now... he's old, had cancer for most of a decade. drank and smoked most of his life. he's nearing mid 70's... shouldn't i have expected this news? i did. i did expect it. i've been waiting for it for years now. i'm still not over the others... last april there were 5 deaths in the family. in the span of 20 days. a great aunt. my baba. another great aunt. a cousin. a childhood best friend. it was so much to take at once. i haven't greived all of them yet. and now, another one. soon. i really don't have to write how insignificant everything else seems when seeing death so close in so few months.